This is the first post for my new blog. If you have followed me in the past, you know that I have a blog dedicated to my opinions on things. This blog will not have political posts or non-food related emotional posts.

This past Friday I turned 39 years old. I am fat. Could I sugar coat that by saying I am curvy, fluffy, thick, or any variety of cutesy adjectives? Absolutely! I am still fat. I am more than just my fat, but I am fat. I am only 5 feetish tall. (Anywhere from 5' even to 5'1" depending on the person doing the measuring.) I am currently 203.4 pounds. This is not a healthy weight. I used to be 217.5 pounds, so I am not as bad as I was either. I want to be 140 pounds. I am not built to be 117 pounds. I may be 5ish feet tall, but I have a 7 inch wrist (very large for such a short girl) and a 7-8 shoe size. Many women my height are built to be tiny. I, am not. This does not mean that I am built to be fat. I am just not built to be 117 pounds.

My first wedding, I weighed 135-145 pounds. I say this because weight fluctuates and I would weigh 135 one day then 145 two days later and anything in between on any given day. I wore a size 8 wedding dress, and was quite small. I want to be that size. If I dipped below 130, I started to get asked if I were sick. Right after that I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I took the Depo Provera shot. I almost immediately gained 50 pounds. I lost a little of that, but I have NEVER been that size again. Before the shot, I had no issue losing weight as I chose. I was 20 with a good metabolism. Now, not so much.

I don't exercise like I should, but I am working on that. I don't do as good at eating as I should, but I am working on that too. I have started a low carb diet. I was down to 200.7, but I had a birthday, and gained some of that back. Do I feel like I cheated this weekend? Nope. I made informed decisions on what I ate and I chose to eat outside of my plan. Today, I am back on plan. That's okay. Did I completely undo everything I have done since January 23? Nope. I did, however, undo some of my progress. I knew that I would. Cheating implies I was trying to get away with something. I knew I couldn't cheat my body and expect the same results. I made an informed decision to eat like crap. I ate really good food, and I have to keep some of those foods at bay almost all the time, and only allow them on truly special occasions.

I do a keto like diet most of the time, but sometimes I have to push myself out of keto due to some medical issues. I did that on purpose this weekend. Back to reality.

I am starting from here. I will weigh every day this week and then post a blog about why that is stupid later. I want to prove a point.

This blog will chronicle my struggles, successes, and favorite recipes. I will try to post a few times a week to update my progress and once a week to tell you what my favorite recipes or dishes were for the week. Feel free to join me. I use Sparkpeople.com to track my nutrients and goals and we can even start a team if you guys want to jump on there with me. My username there is Mommyre and I will probably copy and paste my blogs (after this one) to the one on my sparkpage. Happy eating.

Marie
SW203.4
GW 140
Here we go!