Goals and dreams

I mentioned the other day that I don't want to set resolutions, since I seem to drop them all. I don't hate resolutioners, nor do I resent them. I just feel like we should make life changes as necessary. Don't get me wrong, I understand why people create resolutions. A new year signifies a new beginning. Starting fresh. Starting over. Lord Jesus, I have started over 1,235,939 times. I just don't see to have that "resolution function" turned on in my brain. I cannot view it as a New Year's Resolution. I think part of it, for me, at least, is that I see each new year as a new beginning again. A 2018 resolution to do something is just for that year. I want to make permanent changes. I want to set goals, not chase dreams.

A goal is something that is attainable and may have smaller goals to reach before ultimately reaching the end goal. Take my weight loss adventure, for instance. I ultimately had the goal to lose 77.5 pounds. I knew that I did not gain that 77.5 overnight. I knew that it would take time to reach that goal. My first goal was to try to maintain my new way of eating for a month. Simple recipes only. My next goal was to incorporate more foods. Then, I wanted to begin exercising. I didn't know what or how, but I knew I had more energy and needed to work it out somehow. Notice, none of these goals had hard and fast timelines other than maintaining my new habit for a month. Why a month? Years ago I read something that said if you could do something for 3 weeks (21 days exactly) you could do it basically forever. A month would provide that 21 days and then some. I didn't start out with a goal to run a marathon. That would be stupid. I can't even run a mile yet. Well, I can, I think, but not when the goal of exercising started. Then I found couch 2 5k. There are a million C25K apps out there so, I picked the one I liked the functionality of. The basic premise of C25k is the same everywhere, so the timing doesn't matter. Sometimes, I fail at a goal. What I realize, now, is that I set a goal too soon or too high. Mostly too soon. I say too soon, because I would like to completely run a 5k already. I have had roadblocks to stop my progress, and I didn't consider the consequences when setting my goal. This semester is going to be particularly hard, but I am determined to make it. My husband is taking 20 credit hours and working, and I work,  chauffeur children, and do the mommy thing. Don't get me wrong. Mr. Got to Eat is a great dad and stepdad, but he's going to have to primarily focus on school from this coming Monday through the first week in May. Then he will graduate. That's his current life goal.

Here's the thing about goals. Each person has one or more. Each person has to find what they need to do in order to reach those goals. We are working it out so that he can reach his educational goals. We worked it out when I was working on BOTH of my masters. It's his turn. He was a great stepdad when I was busy with school things. It's my turn to repay him. Actually with my first masters, we'd just begun dating as I was in my final classes. He was super patient. He even encouraged my second masters. Set goals. Adapt them when you realize they were too lofty. Don't give up on goals because they are hard. Find what you need to do in order to achieve them. Only you can do that.

Dreams are another beast. Dreams are things that are sometimes unattainable. At almost 40, it is unreasonable for me to believe I will be an Olympic gymnast such as Mary Lou Retton or Nadia Comaneci. Yes, I could have said Simone Biles or Gabby Douglas, but they aren't my heroes. Mary Lou was the best in the history of the Olympics. I don't care what you say. Now, I could take up gymnastics and learn to flip and tumble, maybe even quite well. I am built like a gymnast. I may even do that one day, but I will never be them. First, there is only one Mary Lou. Second, I should've started about 35 years ago, and kept up with it, in order to achieve that. That doesn't mean that I am not capable of greatness. I am. I am just not capable of being an Olympic gymnast, and that's okay.

Are dreams useless? Nope. I want to be able to run a 5k. Then, maybe, a 10k. After that, maybe even a half marathon. All of that is useless, though, without goals. I first had to learn to run a minute without stopping. Then, I had to learn to run more and more. Qualifying for Boston would be a dream. It's not realistic. Running the Disney Princess Half Marathon, now that I may be able to work up to. Use your dreams to set goals. I would like to one day run a Disney half-marathon. I can't do it today, but I can start learning how today.

The best thing I can teach you is don't be afraid to fail. Don't be afraid to make choices. I made a choice to eat cheesecake, magic cookie bars, and pie at Christmas. Did it completely derail all of my progress? Nope, I gained 2 pounds. I also ate popcorn on New Year's Eve. Gained 2 pounds then too. Popcorn kills me. The salt makes me puff up like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. I love it though. I make choices to eat it on occasion. I know the consequences and what I have to do to reverse them. They don't destroy my whole goal, but they do make it take longer. Adjust your goals, but not too much. If you begin a new eating plan wanting to lose 100 pounds, and a year later you have to adjust that to 120 pounds, you're doing it wrong. If your goal is to lose it in 1 year and it takes 16 months, so what? Be human. Fall down. GET BACK UP. Set goals, reset goals, adjust goals, repeat.